It is very sad for me to recollect my moments
of togetherness with my Dad. I vividly remember of our happy life with him
guiding and caring us, his son and daughters, all the time. To the world he was
a simple man who stood the test of time, but to us, he was our world: a world
without which living beings would find no life.
People say life is like a novel, full of
suspense: you don’t know what’s going to happen unless you flip to the next page.
This is indeed an inescapable truth. My ‘happy life’ became a chapter of sheer
suspense in the novel of ‘our life’ when my Dad fell ill.
I remember vaguely seeing him for the last
time on his sick bed. I was eight years old then with my brother ten and sister
four. All of us were too young to realize that sickness was one of the signs of
death’s arrival. We never thought our Dad would desert us as he loved us more
than his own. He suffered from cancer; the disease which I later came to know
was incurable. Before we could grow tall to fetch him a cup of water in his
death bed, he left us alone in the world. The ‘merciless’ death took him, our
world, too early.
It was in the year 1992 when my Mom was 28. His
death brought a great blow to our lives. It affected our family so much. My Mom
had to run from early morning till late evening hunting for the square meals
for us. Everything shattered: the heaven burst away and hell faced us. In the
darkness, we lost our path and in fact the zest to walk.
We were trying to overcome the atrocities of death
of our beloved father when my mother-in-law (Dad’s sister) gave us another ‘death’.
Deaths after death! She, who was once amiable turned hostile and demanded my
father’s property. Even before my Mom could finish my Dad’s funeral, she
snatched my Dad’s briefcase that had some amount of money and demanded more.
When we refused to hand over the other properties, she returned with her men
bringing sickles and crowbars to uproot our home built by my father. She humiliated
us and treated us worst than animals. My Mom did not have anyone to lean on and
get supported. As a kid we were so innocent. The only thing we could do was to watch
our Mom running hastily around in tears suffering in the cruel hands of so-called
‘blood relatives’.
The case did not end with that humiliation. She
took us to the court soon after. My innocent Mom had to battle the case alone
for several months. It was finally decided that an arbitrator divided the
property between my Mom and my mother-in-law. The arbitrator however was bribed
by my mother-in-law and blatantly he divided the property (unequally) favoring
her. The scooter which my mother asked the arbitrator to offer to one of the
holy places was taken by him. We could do nothing. My fatigued mother was so
weak to breathe all these issues again.
When the head of your family dies, there are
many in the society who aspires to be your head. Without someone to lead the
family it is utterly difficult to defend the daily familial functions. You
would be living but just for the sake of living.
After my Dad’s death, I grew like a stunted
tree by the road side. I saw my friends with their Dad and wished for one. But
I had none. I often had to reconcile and rekindle my ‘belief’ that he has gone
forever and never will he come back even if I missed him for billion times. Today
I am decked with so many questions that are answerless. Every time I try to
hide them, my sadness of missing my Dad overpowers me. I wish he was still
around. I am missing the most wonderful relation in this world. No pain can
ever be stronger than the pain of missing one’s beloved. Even though we do not
see each other, he remains in my heart forever. And he will live in my memory
for the times to come.
‘I miss you and love you Daddy. You will
forever be homed in my warm heart!’
